This is an awesome shot. All those portraits on the wall--it seems like those faces are watching the girls. And they certainly enjoy being watched and get a kick out of working the camera while they are at their play, which does not go by the classic-romantic rules, seeing the intensity of the grip. While the girl on top looks passionate, her blond counterpart's expression is a little odd--which works, however. It fits the scene in my opinion and makes it more interesting.

I also love the slightly grungy/vintage colors, which seems to be your trademark style. I think everything fits just perfectly together. Models, make-up, lighting, composition, post-production, everything is spot-on. I don't think there is anything to improve.